How To Heal A Hurting Heart


When someone hurts our feelings and hurts our heart, we have a few options to deal with it. We can either ignore it, hold onto the anger and hurt or release it and send the person love. Let’s talk about these options and which one is most effective and healing.

Ignoring the problem. Sometime when someone hurts our feelings and our heart, we feel the best and easiest solution is just to ignore it. This never works. Until you deal with your hurt, acknowledge it and do something about it…it doesn’t ever disappear. Even if you’re a professional ignorer. It sits at your subconscious level and festers away until it seeps into all areas of your life.

Holding onto the hurt and anger. This is usually a coping and defensive mechanism. This one tends to come naturally it seems. We may feel that if someone hurt us, well then screw them! And we end up putting up a wall around our heart, feeling the tension and tightness in our chests. But they deserve it! Right? They don’t deserve a cushy spot in our hearts! Wrong. All this does is hurt you! It’s like that quote “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick”. It just doesn’t work.

Releasing the hurt and sending the person love. Wait a minute. They hurt us. Why on earth would I send them love?? Because it’s what’s best for all parties involved. Even if the other party isn’t aware of it. When someone hurts our hearts, it’s best (not always easiest) to release it. Release the hurt, then send the person loving and healing energy. Most of the time when someone is unkind to us, it’s because they themselves are hurting. Feeding their hurt with hurt won’t help the situation. Remember, thoughts and feelings are energy. So even if the person has no idea you’re sending them hurtful thoughts, or loving thoughts, the energy of your thoughts will still affect them.

Remember that feeling of tightness and tension in your chest when you chose to hold onto the hurt? Well the exact opposite happens when you choose to release the hurt. You literally feel your chest loosen and open up. You feel lighter. Why wouldn’t you want to feel that way?

So how do you release the hurt and send the love? I like to work with crystals, sage, intention and visualization.

  • Light your sage and cleanse your aura. While you cleanse your aura and space, say out loud (or silently in your mind), I release this hurt. I release this pain.
  • Sit with your crystals. I like to use green Aventurine or Rose Quartz. Visualize the crystals energy mending your heart and filling you with loving energy.
  • Then, once you feel your heart full of loving energy, visualize a bright green light being sent to the person who hurt your feelings. Say (or think), I am sending (insert their name here) love and healing so they may deal with the hurt in their heart.

And that’s it! I promise you, after doing this little healing ritual you will feel immensely better and lighter.

Many blessings!


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